Solaris Read online

Page 11


  I put a ligature on Rheya, took some blood from a median vein and transferred it to a graduated glass, then divided it between several test- tubes and began the analyses. These took longer than usual; I was rather out of practice. The reactions were normal, every one of them.

  I dropped some congealed acid on to a coral-tinted pearl. Smoke. The blood turned grey and a dirty foam rose to the surface. Disintegration, decomposition, faster and faster! I turned my back to get another test-tube; when I looked again at the experiment, I nearly dropped the slim glass phial.

  Beneath the skin of dirty foam, a dark coral was rising. The blood, destroyed by the acid, was re-creating itself. It was crazy, impossible!

  "Kris." I heard my name called, as though from a great distance. "Kris, the videophone!"

  "What? Oh, thanks."

  The instrument had been buzzing for some time, but I had only just noticed it.

  I picked up the receiver:

  "Kelvin."

  "Snow. We are now all three plugged into the same circuit."

  The high-pitched voice of Sartorius came over the receiver:

  "Greetings, Dr. Kelvin!" It was the wary tone of voice, full of false assurance, of the lecturer who knows he is on tenuous ground.

  "Good-day to you, Dr. Sartorius!"

  I wanted to laugh; but in the circumstances I hardly felt I could yield to a mood of hilarity. After all, which of us was the laughing stock? In my hand I held a test-tube containing some blood. I shook it. The blood coagulated. Had I been the victim of an illusion a moment ago? Had I, perhaps, been mistaken?

  "I should like to set forth, gentlemen, certain questions concerning the … the phantoms."

  I listened to Sartorius, but my mind refused to take in his words. I was pondering the coagulated blood and shutting out this distracting voice.

  "Let's call them Phi-creatures," Snow interjected.

  "Very well, agreed."

  A vertical line, bisecting the screen and barely perceptible, showed that I was linked by two channels: on either side of this line, I should have seen two images—Snow and Sartorius. But the light-rimmed screen remained dark. Both my interlocutors had covered the lenses of their sets.

  "Each of us has made various experiments." The nasal voice still held the same wariness. There was a pause.

  "I suggest first of all that we pool such knowledge as we have acquired so far," Sartorius went on. "Afterwards, I shall venture to communicate to you the conclusion that I, personally, have reached. If you would be so good as to begin, Dr. Kelvin…"

  "Me?"

  All of a sudden, I sensed Rheya watching me. I put my hand on the table and rolled the test-tube under the instrument racks. Then I perched myself on a stool which I dragged up with my foot. I was about to decline to give an opinion when, to my surprise, I heard myself answer:

  "Right. A little talk? I haven't done much, but I can tell you about it. A histological sample … certain reactions. Micro-reactions. I have the impression that…" I did not know how to go on. Suddenly I found my tongue and continued: "Everything looks normal, but it's a camouflage. A cover. In a way, it's a super-copy, a reproduction which is superior to the original. I'll explain what I mean: there exists, in man, an absolute limit—a term to structural divisibility—whereas here, the frontiers have been pushed back. We are dealing with a sub-atomic structure."

  "Just a minute, just a minute! Kindly be more precise!" Sartorius interrupted.

  Snow said nothing. Did I catch an echo of his rapid breathing? Rheya was looking at me again. I realized that, in my excitement, I had almost shouted the last words. Calmer, I settled myself on my uncomfortable perch and closed my eyes. How could I be more precise?

  "The atom is the ultimate constituent element of our bodies. My guess is that the Phi-beings are constituted of units smaller than ordinary atoms, much smaller."

  "Mesons," put in Sartorius. He did not sound in the least surprised.

  "No, not mesons… I would have seen them. The power of this instrument here is between a 10th to a 20th of an angstrom, isn't it? But nothing is visible, nothing whatsoever. So it can't be mesons. More likely neutrinos."

  "How do you account for that theory? Conglomerations of neutrinos are unstable…"

  "I don't know. I'm not a physicist. Perhaps a magnetic field could stabilize them. It's not my province. In any event, if my observations are correct, the structure is made up of particles at least ten thousand times smaller than atoms. Wait a minute, I haven't finished! If the albuminous molecules and the cells were directly constructed from micro-atoms, they would be proportionally even smaller. This applies to the corpuscles, the micro-organisms, everything. Now, the dimensions are those of atomic structures. Consequently, the albumen, the cell and the nucleus of the cell are nothing but camouflage. The real structure, which determines the functions of the visitor, remains concealed."

  "Kelvin!"

  Snow had uttered a stifled cry. I stopped, horrified. I had said "visitor."

  Rheya had not overheard. At any rate, she had not understood. Her head in her hand, she was staring out of the window, her delicate profile etched against the purple dawn.

  My distant interlocutors were silent; I could hear their breathing.

  "There's something in what he says," Snow muttered.

  "Yes," remarked Sartorius, "but for one fact: Kelvin's hypothetical particles have nothing to do with the structure of the ocean. The ocean is composed of atoms."

  "Perhaps it's capable of producing neutrinos," I replied.

  Suddenly I was bored with all their talk. The conversation was pointless, and not even amusing.

  "Kelvin's hypothesis explains this extraordinary resistance and the speed of regeneration," Snow growled. "They probably carry their own energy source as well; they don't need food…"

  "I believe I have the chair," Sartorius interrupted. The self-designated chairman of the debate was clinging exasperatingly to his role. "I should like to raise the question of the motivation behind the appearance of the Phi- creatures. I put it to you as follows: what are the Phi-creatures? They are not autonomous individuals, nor copies of actual persons. They are merely projections materializing from our brains, based on a given individual."

  I was struck by the soundness of this description; Sartorius might not be very sympathetic, but he was certainly no fool.

  I rejoined the conversation:

  "I think you're right. Your definition explains why a particular per … creation appears rather than another. The origin of the materialization lies in the most durable imprints of memory, those which are especially well- defined, but no single imprint can be completely isolated, and in the course of the reproduction, fragments of related imprints are absorbed. Thus the new arrival sometimes reveals a more extensive knowledge than that of the individual of whom it is a copy…"

  "Kelvin!" shouted Snow once more.

  It was only Snow who reacted to my lapses; Sartorius did not seem to be affected by them. Did this mean that Sartorius's visitor was less perspicacious than Snow's? For a moment, I imagined the scholarly Sartorius cohabiting with a cretinous dwarf.

  "Indeed, that corresponds with our observations," Sartorius said. "Now, let us consider the motivation behind the apparition! It is natural enough to assume, in the first instance, that we are the object of an experiment. When I examine this proposition, the experiment seems to me badly designed. When we carry out an experiment, we profit by the results and, above all, we carefully note the defects of our methods. As a result, we introduce modifications in our future procedure. But, in the case with which we are concerned, not a single modification has occurred. The Phi-creatures reappear exactly as they were, down to the last detail … as vulnerable as before, each time we attempt to … to rid ourselves of them…"

  "Exactly," I broke in, "a recoil, with no compensating mechanism, as Dr. Snow would say. Conclusions?"

  "Simply that the thesis of experimentation is inconsistent with this … this unb
elievable bungling. The ocean is … precise. The dual-level structure of the Phi-creatures testifies to this precision. Within the prescribed limits, the Phi-creatures behave in the same way as the real … the … er…"

  He could not disentangle himself.

  "The originals," said Snow, in a loud whisper.

  "Yes, the originals. But when the situation no longer corresponds to the normal faculties of … er … the original, the Phi-creature suffers a sort of 'disconnection of consciousness,' followed immediately by unusual, non-human manifestations…"

  "It's true," I said, "and we can amuse ourselves drawing up a catalogue of the behavior of … of these creatures—a totally frivolous occupation!"

  "I'm not sure of that," protested Sartorius. I suddenly realized why he irritated me so much: he didn't talk, he lectured, as though he were in the chair at the Institute. He seemed to be incapable of expressing himself in any other way. "Here we come to the question of individuality," he went on, "of which, I am quite sure, the ocean has not the smallest inkling. I think that the … er … delicate or shocking aspect of our present situation is completely beyond its comprehension."

  "You think its activities are unpremeditated?"

  I was somewhat bewildered by Sartorius's point of view, but on second thought, I realized that it could not be dismissed.

  "No, unlike our colleague Snow, I don't believe there is malice, or deliberate cruelty…"

  Snow broke in:

  "I'm not suggesting it has human feelings, I'm merely trying to find an explanation for these continual reappearances."

  With a secret desire to nag poor Sartorius, I said:

  "Perhaps they are plugged into a contrivance which goes round and round, endlessly repeating itself, like a gramophone record…"

  "Gentlemen, I beg you, let us not waste time! I haven't yet finished. In normal circumstances, I would have felt it premature to present a report, even a provisional one, on the progress of my research; in view of the prevailing situation, however, I think I may allow myself to speak out. I have the impression—only an impression, mark you—that Dr. Kelvin's hypothesis is not without validity. I am alluding to the hypothesis of a neutrino structure… Our knowledge in this field is purely theoretical. We did not know if there was any possibility of stabilizing such structures. Now a clearly defined solution offers itself to us. A means of neutralizing the magnetic field that maintains the stability of the structure…"

  A few moments previously, I had noticed that the screen was flickering with light. Now a split appeared from top to bottom of the left-hand side. I saw something pink move slowly out of view. Then the lens-cover slipped again, disclosing the screen.

  Sartorius gave an anguished cry:

  "Go away! Go away!"

  I saw his hands flapping and struggling, then his forearms, covered by the wide sleeves of the laboratory gown. A bright golden disc shone out for an instant, then everything went dark. Only then did I realize that this golden disc was a straw hat…

  I took a deep breath.

  "Snow?"

  An exhausted voice replied:

  "Yes, Kelvin…" Hearing his voice, I realized that I had become quite fond of him, and that I preferred not to know who or what his companion was. "That's enough for now, don't you think?" he said.

  "I agree." Before he could cut off, I added quickly: "Listen, if you can, come and see me, either in the operating room or in my cabin."

  "OK, but I don't know when."

  The conference was over.

  The Monsters

  I woke up in the middle of the night to find the light on and Rheya crouched at the end of the bed, wrapped in a sheet, her shoulders shaking with silent tears. I called her name and asked her what was wrong, but she only curled up tighter.

  Still half asleep, and barely emerged from the nightmare which had been tormenting me only a moment before, I pulled myself up to a sitting position and shielded my eyes against the glare to look at her. The trembling continued, and I stretched out my arms, but Rheya pushed me away and hid her face.

  "Rheya…"

  "Don't talk to me!"

  "Rheya, what's the matter?"

  I caught a glimpse of her tear-stained face, contorted with emotion. The big childish tears streamed down her face, glistened in the dimple above her chin and fell onto the sheets.

  "You don't want me."

  "What are you talking about?"

  "I heard…"

  My jaw tightened: "Heard what? You don't understand…"

  "Yes I do. You said I wasn't Rheya. You wanted me to go, and I would, I really would … but I can't. I don't know why. I've tried to go, but I couldn't do it. I'm such a coward."

  "Come on now…" I put my arms round her and held her with all my strength. Nothing mattered to me except her: everything else was meaningless. I kissed her hands, talked, begged, excused myself and made promise after promise, saying that she had been having some silly, terrible dream. Gradually she grew calmer, and at last she stopped crying and her eyes glazed, like a woman walking in her sleep. She turned her face away from me.

  "No," she said at last, "be quiet, don't talk like that. It's no good, you're not the same person any more." I started to protest, but she went on: "No, you don't want me. I knew it before, but I pretended not to notice. I thought perhaps I was imagining everything, but it was true … you've changed. You're not being honest with me. You talk about dreams, but it was you who were dreaming, and it was to do with me. You spoke my name as if it repelled you. Why? Just tell me why."

  "Rheya, my little…"

  "I won't have you talking to me like that, do you hear? I won't let you. I'm not your little anything, I'm not a child. I'm…"

  She burst into tears and buried her face in the pillow. I got up. The ventilation hummed quietly. It was cold, and I pulled a dressing-gown over my shoulders before sitting next to her and taking her arm: "Listen to me, I'm going to tell you something. I'm going to tell you the truth."

  She pushed herself upright again. I could see the veins throbbing beneath the delicate skin of her neck. My jaw tightened once more. The air seemed to be colder still, and my head was completely empty.

  "The truth?" she said. "Word of honor?"

  I opened my mouth to speak, but no sound came. 'Word of honor' … it was our special catch-phrase, our old way of making an unconditional promise. Once these words had been spoken, neither of us was permitted to lie, or even to take refuge behind a half-truth. I remembered the period when we used to torture each other in an exaggerated striving for sincerity, convinced that this ingenuous honesty was the precondition of our relationship.

  "Word of honor, Rheya," I answered gravely, and she waited for me to continue. "You have changed too—we all change. But that is not what I wanted to say. For some reason that neither of us understands, it seems that … you are forced to stay near me. And that's fine with me, because I can't leave you either…"

  "No, Kris. The change is not in you," Rheya whispered. "It's me. Something is wrong. Perhaps it has to do with the accident?"

  She looked at the dark, empty rectangle of the door. The previous evening, I had removed the shattered remains—a new one would have to be fitted. Another thought struck me:

  "Have you been managing to sleep?"

  "I don't know."

  "What do you mean?"

  "I have dreams … I don't know whether they really are dreams. Perhaps I'm ill. I lie there and think, and…"

  "What?"

  "I have strange thoughts. I don't know where they come from."

  It took all my self-control to steady my voice and tell her to go on, and I found myself tensing for her answer as if for a blow in the face.

  "They are thoughts…" She shook her head helplessly. "…all around me."

  "I don't understand."

  "I get a feeling as if they were not from inside myself, but somewhere further away. I can't explain it, can't put words to it…"

  I broke in almost invo
luntarily: "It must be some kind of dream." Then, back in control again: "And now, we put the light out and we forget our problems until morning. Tomorrow we can invent some new ones if you like. OK?"

  She pressed the switch, and darkness fell between us. Stretched out on the bed, I felt her warm breathing beside me, and put my arms round her.

  "Harder!" she whispered, and then, after a long pause:

  "Kris!"

  "What?"

  "I love you."

  I almost screamed.

  In the red morning, the sun's swollen disc was rising over the horizon.

  An envelope lay in the doorway, and I tore it open. I could hear Rheya humming to herself in the bath, and from time to time she looked into the room and I would see her face, half hidden by her wet hair.

  I went to the window, and read:

  "Kelvin, things are looking up. Sartorius has decided that it may be possible to use some form of energy to destabilize the neutrino structure. He wants to examine some Phi plasma in orbit. He suggests that you make a reconnaissance flight and take a certain quantity of plasma in the capsule. It's up to you, but let me know what you decide. I have no opinion. I feel as if I no longer have anything. If I am more in favor of your going, it's because we would at least be making some show of progress. Otherwise, we can only envy G.

  Snow.

  P.S. All I ask is for you to stay outside the cabin. You can call me on the videophone."

  I felt a stir of apprehension as I read the letter, and went over it again carefully before tearing it up and throwing the pieces into the disposal unit.

  I went through the same terrible charade that I had begun the previous day, and made up a story for Rheya's benefit. She did not notice the deception, and when I told her that I had to make an inspection and suggested that she come with me she was delighted. We stopped at the kitchen for breakfast—Rheya ate very little—and then made for the library.